To Make-up or Not to Make-up

By: Mashaka Williams

A make-up day

It is so funny how certain things become such a must discuss topic. Should we have natural hair or should we relax it. Should we wear make-up or should we go without.

So in true blogger style I have to give my take. Who cares! If you are comfortable in your skin you can do whatever you want.

I remember in high school I had a really good friend named Francine and she never relaxed her hair and wore no make-up only good old fashion Vaseline. And she was the picture of what a natural black woman should look like. No one had better braid ups than her. But the truth is you did not hear the guys saying wow look at that beauty. She never made that her deciding factor on how she should carry herself. I see pictures of her now and every now and then she has on make-up. She is still as beautiful with it on as she is with it off. Make-up does not make you any less or more pretty.

So you wear it great, you don’t that is great too. It is a choice. That is the wonderful thing about being a woman we can change our hairstyles and appearances. Let’s embrace it and move on.

I read some comments on Alicia Keys not wearing make-up. That is a great thing. It shows women that they are beautiful as they are. As a You tube fan and a person who has just started making videos, she helped me realize that I can do these videos without make- up and be proud.

The point is there are so many things that we have to worry about on a daily basis, let’s not make a big deal out of make-up or no make-up, let’s embrace the fact that we have the choice.

By the way let’s also accept that are skin is not flawless. That’s part of being human. J

 

Have a great day,

Shak

Missed Photo Opps

By Mashaka Williams

Coming out of the slump

 

In planning my 40^th birthday celebration and looking for pictures of myself, I realized that there was a period of time that I did not take any pictures of myself. And I thought to myself if it is just me or are there other women out there that did not like how they looked and refused to take pictures.

I think that it is sad to know that the reason I did not take any pictures was because I felt chubby and did not want my old school mates to see me looking a little plumper than they probably remembered me. But the more I thought about it the more I had to be honest. I did not want to think about people saying that about me because I have done it.

Society is as such that we look at pictures of the people we knew and comment on them. We would say both good and bad. It is not always done in a malicious way, but it was done. And it is because of my own self I hid the reality of how I felt about myself.

The funny thing is now when I look pictures of people who gained weight I look at the picture to observe if they are happy. Rather than if they are skinny, fat, or the same. I think we need to really enjoy ourselves at each stage. So I am upset that I don’t have those chubby pictures of myself because I missed out on some photo opportunities with my kids.

So if you are doing what I did, don’t feel bad you’re not alone. However I do encourage you do take those pics and be happy. At the end of the day we only have one life and there are greater struggles in life than being a little fatter (there I said it) than we want to be.

 

Have a great day,

Shak

A Father's Answers

By: Mashaka Williams

In a society that is so driven by all that the fathers don’t do. Let’s talk about the ones that do and why they do.

I am lucky enough to have some male friends who make a point in being a part of their children’s life. In an attempt to not change his words I will simply post the questions and responses. Thank you for your honest answers. Just so you know these are his answers, not every male has the mother issues. In this case he does and yet he is there.

Hardest part of being a single dad? You can give me more than one example.

Initially it’s trying to explain to the kid(s) why they are no longer going to be living with both parents.

Dealing with the mother.
The finances (if you’re paying child support)
Getting involved in their emotional and academic development
Being in a serious relationship with someone other than their mother and making sure their needs remain 1^st and foremost.
Lastly not killing the mom (LMAO)!!!!!

What drives you to do this- lots of guys just say to hell with it? If you say my kids elaborate. I know your kids give me more.

My faith

Being raised by a single mother
Realizing it’s not their fault. I created them it’s my job to take care of them.
I enjoy them.

What would you tell someone that is about to be in your situations and just don’t want to deal with the fight? Give me an answer from however you want to interpret the question.

It’s what you make it like everything else in life. If you see it as an inconvenience then it will be. Make the most out of the limited time you have with them because the quality outweighs the quantity (though that is important also). If you can get along with the mother great but if not then become more involved with every aspect of their life school, extracurricular sports, and the days you don’t see them then call. A phone call goes a long way. 

Have a great day,

Shak

Slow Down and You'll See It

By: Mashaka Williams

 

I was reading an inspirational message the other day and came across the statement, “Slow down and you will see it.” I began to wonder what it was I would see, and then realized how important this message is.

The truth is it is something that most of us don’t want to see; because it may shed the light on things that we have spent so much time ignoring or hiding. However when we slow down we are forced to see what is happening as well as hear the thoughts that we stay busy to keep out.

The more I thought about the statement I realized that the reason we stay busy is to avoid dealing with the elephant that is in the room. We don’t want to talk about the hard topics, or deal with the complicated issues. We want to focus on our pretty created reality, but more importantly avoid that one part that is not so pretty.

My issue with us not slowing down is that the blessing that is meant for us is also being missed because we aren’t taking the time to hear what God is trying to tell us. Which means that the destination we are heading for, takes longer because we aren’t listening to our inner tour guide, and we are busying ourselves to avoid dealing with the obstacles that we have to get past in order to see that brighter side. Going around it does not change the fact that we still have to deal with it.

Let’s start slowing down and looking at the entire reality in order for us to get through those hard times and get back on the path of serenity. May today bring you much down time to deal with those small pesky obstacles, because the sun is so much brighter beyond them.

Have a great day,

Shak

The Positive Vibe

By: Mashaka Williams

Tulips make me smile.

With all of the things that’s happening in the world today it is so easy to fall victim to criticizing people and things. As a parent you want your children to grow up prepared for everything that can happen and we tend to forget to talk it out in a positive way.

I have been lucky enough to have an uncle who as long as I have been alive which is longer than I would like to admit has never said a harsh word about anyone or anything to me. He has been through so much over the past 3 to 4 years and with all that is still able to find a positive spin. If something goes completely wrong and none of us could find a good thing to say. He would say, “Okay guys let’s just do what we have to do as a family, don’t take that on now.”

He has been dealing with nerve damage that could have made him paralyzed. He is here today walking with nerve damage. And with all of the pain that he is in daily his saying is, “Feeling the pain is a good sign, it means that I am still working.” He gets up and makes breakfast, cooks dinner and lives life with such a brightness. Yes there are days when he has a hard time and would express it however he make a positive remark like “tomorrow will be better.”

I hope that as a parent I would be able to express myself as positive and heart-filled as he does with all of us whom he has helped raise. I am so thankful that I have such a strong base from the adults that has played a role in my life.

So today I would like to us my uncle’s words and say, “Everything will work out as it always does. Not too worry.”

Have a great day,

Shak

Barbie's Back on the Scene

By Mashaka Williams

Barbie's Back on the Scene

                                          
So as you may have heard there are some new girls in town, and they look like us. I am talking about the new babies with bodies that look like all women. They have petite, curvy and tall.

I am a short, curvy black woman, therefore I am dancing and screaming thanking Barbie for me in the form of a doll. It took them 57 years to get it done. My take is that there will be more grown-ups purchasing the dolls.

As a mother of colored daughters it has been really hard for me to get into the idea of having my daughters fall in love with a doll that has done a poor job of representing young women, however my girls still liked the doll. So my house has Barbies and the girls love playing with them. I really think that what they have done is amazing because it allows girls to see that we are all different. This by no means should replace the jobs of parents helping and guiding their daughters on building and having good self-esteem.

We still have to do the work. We have to let our children know that they are beautiful even if there aren’t dolls that represent them. We still have to teach them that different is good. We still have to continue to let them know the reality of the world they live in. I give kudos to Mattel for hearing the masses and making the change, because Barbie is what she is a household name. Girls still love the movies and they still want the dolls as gifts. But now we have options and can get them any doll they want, even one that might look like them.

So my plan is to find a brown, curvy not too tall with a natural curly afro. Shop for the new Barbie at www.barbie.com.

 Have a great day,

Shak

Embrace This New Day

By: Mashaka Williams

It is so easy to bring your yesterday’s events into your today. Make a point with each new morning to learn from your yesterdays, but do not allow them to consume your today.

As a working parent and wife I have learned that I am far from perfect and that each day is a learning experience. I have learned the importance of accepting things as they are and embracing the new and unknown.

Every day is not going to be a great day; however there is always a great thing that happens in a day. Like a smiling baby, a dancing toddler, new nail polish and dinner conversations with your spouse. Look for those small things and make them the big and important thing of your day. 

Smile and embrace the new day.

Love,

Shak