Missed Photo Opps

By Mashaka Williams

Coming out of the slump

 

In planning my 40^th birthday celebration and looking for pictures of myself, I realized that there was a period of time that I did not take any pictures of myself. And I thought to myself if it is just me or are there other women out there that did not like how they looked and refused to take pictures.

I think that it is sad to know that the reason I did not take any pictures was because I felt chubby and did not want my old school mates to see me looking a little plumper than they probably remembered me. But the more I thought about it the more I had to be honest. I did not want to think about people saying that about me because I have done it.

Society is as such that we look at pictures of the people we knew and comment on them. We would say both good and bad. It is not always done in a malicious way, but it was done. And it is because of my own self I hid the reality of how I felt about myself.

The funny thing is now when I look pictures of people who gained weight I look at the picture to observe if they are happy. Rather than if they are skinny, fat, or the same. I think we need to really enjoy ourselves at each stage. So I am upset that I don’t have those chubby pictures of myself because I missed out on some photo opportunities with my kids.

So if you are doing what I did, don’t feel bad you’re not alone. However I do encourage you do take those pics and be happy. At the end of the day we only have one life and there are greater struggles in life than being a little fatter (there I said it) than we want to be.

 

Have a great day,

Shak

A Father's Answers

By: Mashaka Williams

In a society that is so driven by all that the fathers don’t do. Let’s talk about the ones that do and why they do.

I am lucky enough to have some male friends who make a point in being a part of their children’s life. In an attempt to not change his words I will simply post the questions and responses. Thank you for your honest answers. Just so you know these are his answers, not every male has the mother issues. In this case he does and yet he is there.

Hardest part of being a single dad? You can give me more than one example.

Initially it’s trying to explain to the kid(s) why they are no longer going to be living with both parents.

Dealing with the mother.
The finances (if you’re paying child support)
Getting involved in their emotional and academic development
Being in a serious relationship with someone other than their mother and making sure their needs remain 1^st and foremost.
Lastly not killing the mom (LMAO)!!!!!

What drives you to do this- lots of guys just say to hell with it? If you say my kids elaborate. I know your kids give me more.

My faith

Being raised by a single mother
Realizing it’s not their fault. I created them it’s my job to take care of them.
I enjoy them.

What would you tell someone that is about to be in your situations and just don’t want to deal with the fight? Give me an answer from however you want to interpret the question.

It’s what you make it like everything else in life. If you see it as an inconvenience then it will be. Make the most out of the limited time you have with them because the quality outweighs the quantity (though that is important also). If you can get along with the mother great but if not then become more involved with every aspect of their life school, extracurricular sports, and the days you don’t see them then call. A phone call goes a long way. 

Have a great day,

Shak

Slow Down and You'll See It

By: Mashaka Williams

 

I was reading an inspirational message the other day and came across the statement, “Slow down and you will see it.” I began to wonder what it was I would see, and then realized how important this message is.

The truth is it is something that most of us don’t want to see; because it may shed the light on things that we have spent so much time ignoring or hiding. However when we slow down we are forced to see what is happening as well as hear the thoughts that we stay busy to keep out.

The more I thought about the statement I realized that the reason we stay busy is to avoid dealing with the elephant that is in the room. We don’t want to talk about the hard topics, or deal with the complicated issues. We want to focus on our pretty created reality, but more importantly avoid that one part that is not so pretty.

My issue with us not slowing down is that the blessing that is meant for us is also being missed because we aren’t taking the time to hear what God is trying to tell us. Which means that the destination we are heading for, takes longer because we aren’t listening to our inner tour guide, and we are busying ourselves to avoid dealing with the obstacles that we have to get past in order to see that brighter side. Going around it does not change the fact that we still have to deal with it.

Let’s start slowing down and looking at the entire reality in order for us to get through those hard times and get back on the path of serenity. May today bring you much down time to deal with those small pesky obstacles, because the sun is so much brighter beyond them.

Have a great day,

Shak

The Positive Vibe

By: Mashaka Williams

Tulips make me smile.

With all of the things that’s happening in the world today it is so easy to fall victim to criticizing people and things. As a parent you want your children to grow up prepared for everything that can happen and we tend to forget to talk it out in a positive way.

I have been lucky enough to have an uncle who as long as I have been alive which is longer than I would like to admit has never said a harsh word about anyone or anything to me. He has been through so much over the past 3 to 4 years and with all that is still able to find a positive spin. If something goes completely wrong and none of us could find a good thing to say. He would say, “Okay guys let’s just do what we have to do as a family, don’t take that on now.”

He has been dealing with nerve damage that could have made him paralyzed. He is here today walking with nerve damage. And with all of the pain that he is in daily his saying is, “Feeling the pain is a good sign, it means that I am still working.” He gets up and makes breakfast, cooks dinner and lives life with such a brightness. Yes there are days when he has a hard time and would express it however he make a positive remark like “tomorrow will be better.”

I hope that as a parent I would be able to express myself as positive and heart-filled as he does with all of us whom he has helped raise. I am so thankful that I have such a strong base from the adults that has played a role in my life.

So today I would like to us my uncle’s words and say, “Everything will work out as it always does. Not too worry.”

Have a great day,

Shak

Barbie's Back on the Scene

By Mashaka Williams

Barbie's Back on the Scene

                                          
So as you may have heard there are some new girls in town, and they look like us. I am talking about the new babies with bodies that look like all women. They have petite, curvy and tall.

I am a short, curvy black woman, therefore I am dancing and screaming thanking Barbie for me in the form of a doll. It took them 57 years to get it done. My take is that there will be more grown-ups purchasing the dolls.

As a mother of colored daughters it has been really hard for me to get into the idea of having my daughters fall in love with a doll that has done a poor job of representing young women, however my girls still liked the doll. So my house has Barbies and the girls love playing with them. I really think that what they have done is amazing because it allows girls to see that we are all different. This by no means should replace the jobs of parents helping and guiding their daughters on building and having good self-esteem.

We still have to do the work. We have to let our children know that they are beautiful even if there aren’t dolls that represent them. We still have to teach them that different is good. We still have to continue to let them know the reality of the world they live in. I give kudos to Mattel for hearing the masses and making the change, because Barbie is what she is a household name. Girls still love the movies and they still want the dolls as gifts. But now we have options and can get them any doll they want, even one that might look like them.

So my plan is to find a brown, curvy not too tall with a natural curly afro. Shop for the new Barbie at www.barbie.com.

 Have a great day,

Shak

Smile it's Daycare

By: Mashaka Williams

Photo Credit: Webneel

It’s not easy being a mother who has to wake up every morning and send your kids to a daycare provider. This is especially difficult to do when you have kids under 5, because they still struggle to express themselves clearly.

I have been lucky enough to find someone outside of my family who not only takes care of my children well, but treats them like family. It is a great feeling to know that when they aren’t in your care you can rest assured that they are being taken care of.

One of the things we as parents do is worry about someone else raising our child. Technically they are, however if you and them have the same game plan and the job gets done correctly what’s to worry about. You just tag team out and in during the day. It’s called doing our part to make sure we are taking the steps to teach our children how to be good citizens. We have to be parents and not friends.

We have to help our children understand the rules and discipline them when they have done something wrong at day care. I know that some of us want to spend time cuddling or coddling however we have to make certain that they understand the rules do not change just because we are at home versus daycare.

My daycare lady’s name is Nona and if I could clone her and send her out in the world for all parents to have one I would. She takes care of a few kids with mine and they are all treated the same. And let me just state for the record my baby is no easy breeze kind of child. Nona earns her money and then some, but she is awesome. I’d have to say her and her family were a gift from God. She has helped us with both of my children and the first one turned out great. Let’s hope that the second will follow suit.

Take the time to be parents, but make sure that the person who is taking care of your child wants to do it and enjoys it. Trust that gut feeling you have. My gut feelings told me that Nona was the right choice for my kids.

Have a great day.

Shak

Stinky Home Remedy

By: Mashaka Williams

Last night was the worst I thought my head was going to explode. And when I thought it could not get any worse my mother in law came in and asked if I drank the dreaded home remedy tea that has her favorite ingredient apple cider vinegar. She believes that it is the cure for any ailment. If you have high blood pressure drink it with garlic, if you have a fever wipe up with it and if you have a cold drink it. By the way it also helps with gout drink 2 tbsp in an 8oz glass of water and let it do it’s work.

The stuff smells like seasoned old socks. Of course I put up a fight, but had to succumb to the need for being able to lift my head up. So I went to the kitchen and made this horribly smelling drink. It has 3 tbsp of apple cider vinegar, ½ lemon cut up with the rind, honey to taste and 8 oz of water. For kids you can give the 2-4oz to drink.

This stuff smells so bad that I refused to take it to my bedroom and smell it all night. I drank a small cup of it and went to bed, I slept like a baby. Wow the stinkiest home remedy works.

So today I feel amazing. Thanks to that good old fashion old socks smelling apple cider. It may just cure all ailments after all.

Have a great day,

Shak

Organization Blues

By: Mashaka Williams

As we prepare for another work week, we begin to think of all the things we have to do and get overwhelmed.

So we research ways to organize ourselves in order to get everything done. And for the most part we do the planning lunch and dinners, take out the clothes for the week and get all the kids’ stuff done. You go to bed ready for the next day. And then the next day the alarm did not go off. So I guess planning was done for everything but the clock and then the haste begins. Oh well, you have tonight to fix this hiccup.

My point is this, do whatever you can but know that you're human and things happen.

Have a great day!!

Shak